We are all addicts of something.

Alcohol Recovery

“I decided to start therapy when I had reached a really low point.  I felt so depressed and lonely, I would drink so I didn’t have to feel anymore.  I was unhappy at my job, but was unable to leave because I was worried about being unemployed and felt unmotivated to look for new jobs.  It got to the point I was drinking more than I had in the past and getting into fights with my partner.  I realized that I’ve had untreated depression for years and a series of unfortunate events had triggered a major breakdown.  After starting therapy, I understood that I needed more structure in my life as well as help in the form of a sponsor and AA to start building healthy support.  Changing my relationship with alcohol was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I can safely say now that I’m not using it as a coping skill anymore and won’t in the future. I’ve discovered new hobbies, friends and a life I could not have dreamed was possible when I was stuck drinking to get through the day.  I know that if I had not gotten help, my drinking would have spiraled to the point that I would probably have lost my job and my partner. I’m grateful that didn’t have to be my rock bottom, and that I got help in time.”

Process/ Love Addiction

“I spent the past decade of my life from 20-30 years old searching for love with all the wrong people. I dated one unavailable person after another, always blaming the other person for not wanting to commit or making me happy. Through therapy, I gained some pretty big insights about life and myself- the first being that no one else can make me happy. I have to be happy on my own before I can attract a healthy partner into my life. The second lesson was that I was the one who was unavailable due to my attachment style of being avoidant. I didn’t know about attachment styles and I was able to understand that childhood pain from having an emotionally unavailable parent had caused me to close myself off from being able to accept love. I found it so hard to let go of dysfunctional relationships, even though I knew they were bad for me. Learning about attachment styles was a game changer because I’m beginning to understand how to change mine to be more securely attached. I’m also dating more mindfully, and thinking about what potential’s partner’s attachment styles are and how we may or may not be a match. I have finally been able to break my pattern and am dating more available people, and I’m hopeful that I will find the right person when the time is right.”

Overworking

“I always considered myself an overachiever and know I struggle with people pleasing. But I didn’t consider that my career goals, long hours and overfocus on work was hurting my marriage until my partner threatened to leave me. I realized then that I essentially had abandoned my partner’s needs and those of our kids to try to achieve my dream of being an entrepreneur. I was putting so little into my marriage and family life, but deluded myself into thinking that it was for the good of the family because I had the goal of building a more elevated lifestyle for everyone. I realize now that even the highest achievers benefit from a program of living that supports their mental health as well as being a contributing father, spouse, sibling, friend, neighbor, etc. Therapy taught me how to change my program- how to add in space for meditation, exercise, breaks from work and overall to practice self compassion when I fail. I tend to be so self critical and then project that onto others around me, and I’ve learned how decrease the negativity and stop doing that. It’s been invaluable.”